December 2nd of 2019 was a bittersweet anticipation. It was a miserable morning, having rained and snowed the night before, and continued raining. The parking lot was getting it’s first rush of cars as my boyfriend and I rushed to get into the office. The hallways were bland and hushed, with hints of faded color meant to be soothing. The rickety elevator brought us up 1 floor; it shook and moaned like an arthritic man being asked to get up from a comfortable chair. In less than 20 steps we were at my neurologist’s office.
The waiting room was half full already, but lacked the chatter you might hear in other waiting rooms. Thirty minutes later and I was half dressed under a medical gown, waiting to start my EMG test; my final test. Rita, the technician, proved to be experienced at simultaneously keeping the comversation flowing to distract and shocking your muscles at precise points.
My neurologist, Dr. V walks in to do the next part of the test. As if the muscle shocks weren’t enough, the next part involved being pricked by needles to measure something; I have a vague notion it’s about my muscle strength. My breathing is a little ragged by now, but not necessarily from pain. I had been having difficulty breathing when lying on my back too long, but I hadn’t mentioned this to many people, knowing what it could mean.
Dr. V had been pretty clinical during the test. Not much point in trying to keep a conversation going when you are telling someone to tense this limb and that limb while trying to hold a needle still. Im thinking my pain tolerance isn’t too bad by now, until he reaches my legs. Wow. My legs do not like needles.
His part of the testing done, he looks at me with concern and explains that my CT scan and MRI came back ok; cool – no surgery. My blood test however came back positive for 3 out of 5 tests. Prognosis: Myasthenia Gravis confirmed.
Ok. I expected this by now. Blank feelings. I had done a lot of research on Google by now which produced a lot of grim information. I was sort of prepared to hear this. I know his concern was because I mentioned to Rita that I had been developing issues with swallowing. Not good. He is worried I might develop breathing issues. Google told me this.
But this prognosis was also a relief. I had a definitive answer of what was causing my symptoms were. Double vision. Drooping eyelids. Fatigue. All signs of something that is very treatable. But this relief is bittersweet because Google has shown me what to expect for the rest of my life.
Myasthenia Gravis will not limit my life the way it seems to have for the few life stories I have found online so far. I will conquer this new obstacle.
My Myasthenia Corner 